Monday, October 17, 2011


It was peak summer time.As is and was my wont the first thing i do after rising early in the morning is check my mobile inbox for messages that friends send me, particularily the night.

There it was ,this innocously simple message which meant "Do you know several thousand birds die each summer for want of water.So put a water pot in your balcony,terrace or window sill.Forward this message to your friends as well."

The sheer simplicity and exhortation of the message subliminally settled in my mind and set me thinking of birds and nature.The sight of earthen water pots hung in hessian baskets or perched atop balconies swam before my eyes for a moment . Having absorbed the pregnant purport of the message the first thing i did was forward the mesaage required to my benevolent friends.

After a while in the day i headed straight to an earthen ware seller who had laid out his wares under a banyan tree I looked for a particularly flat blottomed deep earthen pot.

After handling a few i could lay my eager hand on not one but two, one of which i told myself i would use for bird feed for the added measure and the other for water as planned.

I put out a hand ful of barley bird feed in to the new earthen pot and poured to the brim water in the other and put both the pots on a particularly wide window sill overlooking an abundant tree.Happy at the thought of having been inspired by the message to do a simple good turn ,i progressed through my routine and the dusk returned to check how the birds liked to respond to my gesture.

To my delight ,i found the water filled pot half-empty and grains strewn around the pot,testimony that birds had been pecking here.

Next morning i replenished the supply with renewed interest and continued the routine for a few days.After which i found to my disamy, that the barley bird feed would be left untouched.Perhaps the birds had had enough.Don't we get bored of the same fare if given the same thing for days.

For a chance , i bought some jowar grains bigger and easier for birds to pick,I thought .At the end of each summer day,i noticed the replaced bird feed polished off by birds.The sight of the empty birdfeed pot gave me an incredible satisfaction-and all because of an SMS.Save My Soul, i thought Yes -that was what it was.

Trees and birds are just part of the big picture of nature which we share with them.We all are interconnected and independent.Fed on water and birds feed, the content little birdies have taught me a valuable lesson in the virtues of charity which begins at home,in your heart that has immense potential to save not just the individual soul but that of others as well.


Life takes you on the journey which is a kind of expected vs unexpected.Pleasure ,Pain Agony,Dissatisfaction,Satisfaction walk hand in hand together.The more we try to unveil the hidden paths of future the more we find ourselves admist confusion.

Phases of boredom haunts us like slipping nail through the concrete wall and we try to revive our likes to kill this boredom of ours one fine day........singing once we loved,painting we used to do ,travelling once we cherished and during these seconds of time we think to revive our hidden capabilities,our expertise.......we decide to do what we love most.

For me to paint well is my acquired gift from God as i was always gud at it.

Life has churned me out and doing painting on canvas will allow me to fill some colors in my life too,i so started with it but its not easy to fill colors as our mind which is undergoing so much of turmoil stops us to come out as a survivor from the situation which bothers us the most......

But i crave for happiness and just for the sake to give happy ending to my life i seek revival of my interests thinking that might be that is the only recepie to come out from the trauma of boredom.

BOREDOM SUCKS.....and to kill it i chose to hope that this black and white life of mine will one day become colorful and my journey in the search of revival of fittest will make me the surviror among the fittest



The Quill Pen came into use in the Seventh Century

after the Reed Pen and remained the preeminent writing instrument for most of the Western World for over thousands of years.
The word PEN comes from the Latin Word PENNA which means Feather.
''One drop of ink makes thousands,perhaps millions think.......Lord Byron.

Nothing has so affected our lives and history as the QUILL PEN.
Carly Scribes,
wrote and decorated the pages of their manuscripts including the Bible and the Quill Pen.

wars started , and won and lost and some were even aberted by the stroke of QUILL PEN.

Monday, August 29, 2011



I am a hard core Indian, but since my childhood days I had never believed in Gandhi, and his philosophy, as it is my thinking that he was the man who was responsible for India and Pakistan partition. I always believed that it would not have happened if the decision was being taken by the freedom fighters of our country that belonged to the EXTREMIST group.,

People say that what one believed throughout one's childhood years becomes one’s thinking as we grow in life. I too believed in that saying since Anna Hazare’s episode happened in reality. I had never seen Gandhi and his so called revolutions but now I can relate to them very easily in the terms of purpose and intensity.

Still for me both the personalities (Gandhi and Anna Hazare) are little different, may be in the terms of attitude ,may be the way both have spent their lives as I have always seen Gandhi in pictures and documentaries in the company of women on whom shoulders he used to take support to even walk for a few miles, which for me is the topic of concern every time ,he was married, again a difference that can be quoted to justify the dissimilarity with Anna Hazare ji ,but I think the way of perceiving the ideas and bringing a total revolution that too through AHIMSA, is an aspect which relates equally to both .

I don’t believe in following any one or appreciating any person for few good qualities or small things, may be anyone can call me stingy, I don’t mind, let me be it, but now I want to be true to myself this time, that one man who forced me to follow him and his ideology is ANNA HAZARE, a man of substance, a man of high determination,a man of tremendous will power.

What a personality he is …….I mean Great yaar! I am absolutely floored and amazed. His simplicity, his way of saying Bharat Mata Ki Jai, Vande Mataram ,Inqalab Zindabad and he himself as a person forced me to believe in him from my heart and soul.

I kept the complete track of the whole episode of Anna Hazare fighting for corruption ,starting from his day 1 of fasting and raising the wave of anti-corruption movement, I saw his face changing colour from wheatish to little black because of dehydration and hunger and I became so restless because of the attitude and response of our so called politicians, the people who just know to flourish in all respects without getting bothered about the country and its people.

I saw them talking absolute nonsense on T.V specially the NDA party and few others, I saw them ,heard to them and was taken aback that how come these incompetent people are governing US….UNEDUCATED,ILL-MANNERED,EGOISTIC,COMPLETELY INSANE AND HEARTLESS….absolutely disastrous. I felt.

So my worries for this 74 year old man kept increasing with each passing moment of his fast till 28th August, 10 A.M.

But now I can say that the only man whom I praise, whom I follow is HIM i.e (ANNA HAZARE).Wonderful soul and a great Indian.

I can only pray to God that his wishes should come through by the "Jan Lok pal Bill" being passed in the Parliament as early as possible, may God give him a long life and indeed our country need people like him in thousands so that our Generation Next can say that ,



In the end I need to include the following in the list of my appreciation-

-Ms Kiran Bedi

-Mr Arvind Kejriwal

-Mr Prashant Bhushan ji

-Mr Shanti Bhushan ji


-Mr Arnab Goswami (Times Now)

-Mr Gaurav Sawant (Headlines Today)

-Mr Rahul Kanwal (Headlines Today)

jai hind jai bharat!

Monday, August 15, 2011

zara short main batlao na!

this is a song which has compelled me to use my fingers to type it and post it on my blog.....why?.......i dont know?

Zhatak Kar Zulf Jab Tum Tauliye Se Baarishein Azad Karti Ho

Accha Lagta Hai

Hila Kar Hont Jab Bhi Haule Haule Guftagu Ko Saaz Karti Ho

Accha Lagta Hai

Khushboo Se Behlao Na, Seedhe Point Pe Aao Na

Aankh Main Aankhein Daal Ke Keh Do, Khwabon Main tehlao Na

Zara Short Main, Batlao Na

Seedhe Point Pe Aao Na, Seedhe Point Pe Aao Na

-Alag Ehsaas Hota Hai, Tumhare Paas Hone Ka

Sarakti Sarsarahat Ki Nadi Main Reshmi Lamhein Bheegone Ka

Zara Sa Maud Kar Gardan Jab Apni Hi Ada Par Naaz Karti Ko

Accha Lagta Hai

Labzon Se Behlao Na, Jhoothi Mooti Behkao Na

Haathon Ko Haathon Main Le Ke Woh Teen Shabd Tapkao Na

Zara Short Main, Batlao Na

Seedhe Point Pe Aao Na, Haan Seedhe Point Pe Aao Na

-Woh Tere Dhyan Ki Khushboo, Main Sar Tak Odh Leta Hoon

Bhatakti Saans Ko Teri Gali Main Gungunane Chhod Deta Hoon

Tum Apni Khidkiyon Ko Khol Kar Jab Bhi Naye Agaaz Karti Ho

Accha Lagta Hai

Gali Gali Gali Gali Gali Gali Bhatkao Na, Ghadi Ghadi Uljhao Na

Senti Ho Main Jaan Gayi Hoon Action Bhi Dikhlao Na

Zara Short Main, Batlao Na

Seedhe Point Pe Aao Na, Oh Seedhe Point Pe Aao Na

Oh Seedhe Oh Seedhe Oh Seedhe Point Pe Aao Na

just an idea -how beautiful nature is..........

tripfrom srinagar to leh...........enjoy


Few weeks ago we just packed our bags and prepared ourselves to explore the beauty of a place which is extremely beautiful and majestical.From leh we went to TSOMORIRI LAKE about 130 kms away from our destination point.Totally zapped with the beauty of the lake i became speechless for few moments.Drive from leh to Tsomoriri is again breath taking.Mystic mountain ranges changing colours with the every  angle and trajectory of sun rays falling on their snow clad peaks were absolutly wonderful .We stayed bang on the gravelled beach of the lake in our tent,the night was a bit cold but the enthusiasm in our heart gave all the courage and strength to enjoy the nature's great creation. Next day we headed towards Pangongso lake another classic and divine creation by God.Absolutly mesmerising ! Shades of blue forced me to think HOW?For me it is becoming absolutly difficult to express myself in words that how classic these creations are!So being on safer side i am uploading some pics clicked there to give u an idea that I AM NOT TELLING LIES!       

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


More than ever before we face a rising tide of uncertainty about the future –about the personal lives and the purpose and meaning of our social institutions.

We become strikingly aware that life’s lessons are to be learnt on a daily basis. And one of the greatest teachers is uncertainty.

“Are you sure ?” is something we hear again and again as we grow up in life, and so we come to believe we always ought to be certain. However there is often real value in uncertainty.

Uncertainty invites us to slow down in order to understand, to see better, to live better. Uncertainty invites us to be patient towards all that is unsolved in our hearts. “Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them .And the point is, to live everything. Live the question now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer.

We so badly want things in life to be predictable; we want all our choices to be good ones. But we also claim we long for transformation.

Certainty and comfort are hardly conducive to transformation.

A key to transformation is the stage of confusion, discomfort and uncertainty. When time seems to pass at a different pace and when the space around us seems unfamiliar. We live for a while in that nowhere land, somewhere between ‘no longer’ and ‘not yet’. But without that unsettling period, where most of our learning and growth actually happens, we do not come through to the other side changed and better equipped for what life has to offer.

The one certainty is that life is uncertain. We often live as though nothing will change, but it does. The continuous battle between wanting things to stay the same and finding that nothing stays the same creates tension in us. We choose to fear or helplessness, or with eager acceptance of what lies ahead.

The gift that uncertainty offers is the ability to move on.

Present moment wonderful moment encapsulates that life is available only in the present moment, and whatever lies ahead might be a series of wonderful moments.


Everyday people face negative experiences. Whether of greater or lesser import, people generally like to dwell on these negative experiences. Once this becomes a habit, it has a negative effect. Then the unpleasant experiences become a part of our active memory, till it becomes a jungle of negativity. So it is best to forget these kinds of sad events.

In our case what happened was beyond our control, but it is in our hands to forget it and prevent it from becoming a part of our memory. If others are not ready to take your advice on this you had better become its first follower.

Try to forget unpleasant memories, for the alternative to this is living in bitterness and that is not a good choice for anyone.

The habit of forgetting leads to many good things .It saves you from distraction, it prevents you from wasting your time and it shields you from negative thoughts. All these things are so important for a better life.

In life our share is 50% and the rest of the 50% is supplied by others. Living with bitter memories means we are not ready to accept the law of nature. We cannot change the law of nature so change our self. This will give us the gift of a comfortable life in every situation.

Memory is an integral part of our mind. There is no escape from memory .The only option is try not to make memory a part of our conscious mind, but relegate it to unconscious mind. And the forgetting habit serves that very purpose. We cannot delete our memory from our minds but we can make it ineffective by storing it in the memory archives.

Memory when good is a positive guide and when bad is totally negative. One has to control our memory rather than be controlled by it. Make the memory the intellectual storehouse and not the master of our daily conduct.

Friday, June 24, 2011


People feel lonely; they need somebody to fill their loneliness. They call it love. They show love because that is the only way to hook the other. The others also call it love because that is the only way to hook you. But who knows there is love or not? Love is just a game. Real love is possible, but that happens only when you don’t need anybody!
When you don’t need a person at all, when you are totally sufficient unto yourself, when you can be alone and tremendously happy and ecstatic, then love is possible. But then too you can be certain about only one thing: whether your love is real. How can you be certain about the other? But then there is no need.
This continuous anxiety whether the others love is real or not – simply shows one thing: that your love is not real. Why be worried about it? Enjoy it while it last! Be together while you can be together! It is a fiction, but you need fiction.
Behind declarations of love there is nothing but need. You want your lover to be with you to fill your emptiness and so to in the case with him. You are both trying to use each other as a means.
That’s why lovers, so called lovers, are always in conflict- Because nobody wants to be used, because when you use a person the person becomes a thing, you have reduced him or her to a commodity.
Do you love yourself? You have not even asked a question. When you are blissful on your own, you don’t want to use anybody. You simply want to share it and you will feel thankful that somebody was ready to receive. That is the full point.
There is no way to be certain about the other-first, be certain about you. And a person who is certain about himself is certain about the whole world .Settled, centred, grounded in yourself, you never worry about such things. You accept.
If somebody loves you, you accept it because you love yourself. You are happy with yourself; somebody else is happy-good! It does not make you madly egoistic. You simply enjoy yourself; somebody else also finds you enjoyable-good! While it lasts, live the fiction as beautifully as possible-it will not last forever.
When a love is finished, you start thinking it was false-that’s why it has come to an end. No not necessarily. It may have had some glimmer of truth in it, but you were both unable to keep and hold that truth…..You needed love, but you were not capable of it.
When you are aware, a totally different kind of love will arise in your heart-which is absolutely true, which is part of eternity. But that is not a need- it is a luxury. And you have so much of it that you hanker for somebody to share it with.

Monday, March 21, 2011


A closed cabin next to mine accomodated a lady in her 50's suffering with loads of pain.
Often i used to listen some painful cries from there but i was too in the bad state half conscious half un -conscious that it botherd me but just for the fraction of time.
Days passed ,we both just heard each other and we both were in immense pain with all kinds of antibiotics being poured in our sensitive bodies though injections and drips, and me thinking that my condition is worst.
After few days i started to walk and move a little and i just crossed her cabin and was shocked to see her state of health.Four tubes attached to her lower neck portion fixed with a tape so hard which hid her half cheek just blew my pain off.
Fiar lady with the urine and blood bag hanging by her bedside and in tremendous pain....... made me think that why God give so much of suffering to His own children.
After few more days we both got shifted from our cabins with our beds next to each other.
I recoverd and she was recovering too. We had a small chat and i came to know that she was suffering from ovarian cancer.Doctors did their best to remove all cancerous cells and parts but still one ovary which was highly cancerous was left untouched for futher chemotherapeutic treatment.
Beautiful ,fair ,lovely with sutures on her stomach and her veins in hand punctured by thousands of needles made me feel her pain which was thousand times more than mine.which  i had never imagined.
From that particular moment i just prayed for her recovery only!
Selfish feeling i know but.......... im also human what to do!


I always felt that 'life' word in itself is the most meaningful indeed!Whereever the 'LIFE' IS ,THERE THE PLACE AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES LIVELY.But my life experiences (TWICE) had made me feel that some lifes are meant to be ceased to make the other person survive.
Five years back an incident happened in my life and i bore a life inside me in my fallopian tube. The case became critical after two months and I had to be operated upon to cease it.......(my first child)
I recoverd fom that trauma and time again started running in its original pace.But people often say that history repeats itself,i never believed them but same tragedy happened to me this year too.
Begining of year 2011 was all rosy and i was thrilled to know that God has blessed me to bear a life (my child) in me once again.Two months just passed with all the hopes in my heart that nine months will pass soon, but destiny can't be defied.
28th feb i was again detected with a life growing in my other tube.Heart broken at that particular moment i desired to finish my life too along with the one inside me.But such things are not that easy to do.
Again fate had driven me to the hospital and again i passed through all pain and trauma of being operated again and spending 10 days on hospital bed,with all drips and blood bags attached and hanging too close to my body .
Painful indeed!but one can't change what all is predestined.
Now with both the tubes missing inside me i feel a kind of hollow in my life as the most potent parts of my body were being removed as they carried Life which they were not supposed to!
But this whole incident taught me a wonderful lesson------One will be punished if One tries to do things which are not meant to be done ,may be early or little late in life.
With few healed up marks on my lower abdomen i feel that i was meant to be punished and i was ..........may be directly or
i can say may be indirectly!!!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

CHILD IN ME..........

I walk on the road
i find a nut
i bend look around pick it up and eat it
it is not is a child in me

I see someone
i get impressed
i walk close to him and kiss him
its not me...its a child in me

I walk without umbrella in the rains
i fall in love with the splashes
i dance and then slip on the ground
its not me ...its a child in me

sometimes i hate a person
i make a face
i push him /her and run away
its not me...its a child in me

I lick the lollypop
and let the syrup drool over every where
i play with the sand
its not me ...its a child in me

while i sleep
i hug my mom
i keep my leg on my dad's tummy
i take the whole blanket
its not me...its a child in me

i make paper boat
and place it in running stream
i follow it till the end
and when it drowns i cry like insane
its not me ........its a child in me

i eat the petals of rose
i make my lips red by rubbing flowers on them
i catch the butterfly
its not me...its a child in me

i lick my fingers while eating the food
i run away with my friends
i sit on the back of my pet dog
its not me...its a child in me

i will keep doing things which grown ups cant
i keep myself alive in me
its not me anyway ...its a child in me


The feeling of ........I am scared of being loved is so haunting that it makes me ask to myself why so....?it happens..... is it because of sufferings in life,trauma people face that they feel horrified when love knocks at their door that they don't even open the door to let it come inside and heal their broken souls.
It is a wrong act i will say ,one should always grab love whenever where ever it is in vicinity...... why to be scared ,one should not behave like a coward ,be daring ,be impulsive should be the attitude which actually empowers us to live and to be loved.
True love indeed is very hard to find ,people search for their whole lives to find it,but damn it yaar i mean who is bothered of true love,instead it should be only love for me........!
The more words we add before love like true, selfless etc etc the more it is hard to find,why to make things hard,let them be simple ,easy and simplicity just lies in the act that be close to the person who touches your heart anyway.
Enjoy the company of the person with whom you feel that life is still worth living,dont think just act attitude makes life and love more easy to be cherished.
Throw away the baggage which haunts our soul night and day.
Give love a way to reach you ,feel blessed if you come across it anyhow,anyway.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I LOVE YOU......AND YOU......?

once i woke up in the morning
my heart full of unknown desires which were true
i wanted to be in the arms of someone
to just know the answer of I LOVE YOU AND....... YOU?

is there someone for me i have no clue
I still want to know  I LOVE YOU AND........... YOU?

The nights are restless like a day
am i in love? ....yes in some way
for me the sky always remains blue
and whole day i search the answer I LOVE YOU AND .......YOU?

My trust keeps me alive
I am trying my best to survive


is the feel when i saw this wonderful movie ....GUZAARISH....
which defines love in its own way, which explains emotions which are little hard to be understood by "MANGO PEOPLE".
After watching this marvellous piece of cinema i somehow believed that
love can be undemanding if one actually believes in it and if one knows the true meaning of it.
It can be so REAL,so PASSIONATE,so GIVING,and so ULTIMATE,but the condition is that it should be around you in any form.
But is it prevailing in this real world or is it just a picturised version ,makes me bit nervous and makes me think too that is it very difficult to love anyone without demanding anything in return....?
Why pepole need return,why don't they carry on with the things which give them pleasure.
Asking for retrun spoils the chemistry in realtionships,Relationships should be kept just SIMPLE and PURE,then only love plays its role says so,i believe it too.....
I think we are so very complicated that we are in habit of making simple things complicated too.Can we change ourselves,YES indeed but we don't want to actually.
After watching GUZAARISH i too desire to love someone immensly without any expectations,i too desire to be understood by someone without uttering a word,i too desire to spend my life with someone charming and romantic no matter if he is a bed ridden kinds in any form
i want to be with someone who is paraplegic...........

I WANT TO BE LOVED LIKE.............

I want to be loved like a pillow
on which you love to rest your head
when you want to relax

I want to be loved like your shirt
whom you carress and wear
on you and praise that it suits you

I want to be loved like a quilt
inside which you slip in
and hold it around you touching you
so closely and intimately

I want to be loved like a fried fish
which you hold in your hand
and then savour  it to calm down your appetite

I want to be loved like a raindrop
which enters through your window pane
and land on your cheek and you enjoying and then wiping it
off with your hand smiling

I want to be loved like your cellphone
which always remain close to you in your hand
and your fingers every second moment
touching and feeling its texture

I want to be loved like a
fallling star in the moonlit night
which when you see makes you wish something
and it brings joy to you

I want to be loved like a
wave in the sea
which touches your feet when it hits the shore
and electrifies your soul 

I want to be loved forever and ever
in every possible way out
i want to loved as a part of you.


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