Sunday, September 21, 2014


To be needed is a strong human compulsion in those who look outwards for validation.

One of the toughest things to do when you love someone is to set them free. Love is clingy and self absorbed; there is nothing instinctive about trusting the one you love; you may cultivate such a trust. Jealousy, possessiveness and need to control are natural outcomes of the depth of emotions aroused within you. You wish to have as much sway on the life of the one who affects you in such an all consuming manner, as they do on yours.

A natural tendency is to create deep seated needs in each other. To be needed by others is one of the most driving compulsions of humans; it is a part of searching for a purposeful life.

However, we all know people who claim to trust their loved ones and boast of the space they accord their spouses. I do not think these people are any less possessive, loving or less jealous than others.  They are probably more mature and understand that if they do not allow that space, they are likely to lose those to whom they cling with such obsession. A close hue is reassuring, a very tight one, choking. Time spent together is magical and precious but there comes a stage when you need to let the rest of the world in.

If you accept the fact that people will move on and relationships will change, no matter how hard you try, you are better prepared for the inevitable...

The difference is that creating that need is not a motivator.It is more important to be useful rather than needed.  

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